How to Socialize with a non-drinking Partner without making the Relationship boring.

Published Jul 01, 2019

By  Karen Samantha


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It is often said that like minds attract. Actually, in the real world, this is not always the case, sometimes; two dissimilar individuals could attract one another. Alcohol consumption is a fairly social routine in most western nations as hooking up at bars and cafes is one of the common ways of meeting new people. Although not all relationship begins this way, there are possibly several relationships which began in this manner. Dating someone who doesn’t drink alcohol can be quite challenging because relating with such on a social level can prove quite tricky.


If you find yourself in a relationship with a non drinker, you wont be the first and likely won't be the last. You could still go on to have a fulfilling and rewarding relationship together. According to Ruby Warrington, the author of "Sober Curious: The Blissful Sleep" life without alcohol is not as boring as it may sound. In as much as both partners in the relationship support each other in their life choices and other endeavors then the relationship can thrive. Well, here are a few nuggets on how to spice up your relationship with your non drinking partner.



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BE CREATIVE WITH YOUR DATE SETTINGS


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Obviously when in a relationship with a non drinking partner, both of you are going to make some sacrifices but you will be the one to sacrifice the more. Plan your dates at venues where there is a variety of alcohol free options. This is necessary so that your partner does not feel inferior and different when everyone else is taking beer and he/she is not.  While at it, you can also opt for a non alcoholic drink say a coffee or smoothie in solidarity with your partner.  Alternatively, you could even opt for dates that do not include sitting down to consume a drink. For instance, hiking or going to the cinema to see a movie are great options you could try out.



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STRUCTURE YOUR OWN DRINKING


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If you are at a club or bar together you could do without a bottle of beer and instead opt for wine with less alcoholic content. Opting for the same or similar drink on a date is more romantic and since wine is closer to what a non alcohol drinker will likely consume, this is why you can opt for it. If you still feel strongly about taking alcohol then ensure you do not go over your normal ration so as to avoid an embarrassing situation while out with your love interest.  



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RESPECT THEIR CHOICE


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We are all different as individuals and we all have a reason for the choices we make. Don’t show disgust for the choices of your partner and don’t compel them to conform to your standards. According to Warrington one of the best ways to support a non-drinker is to “show an interest in their choice, and let them know you're open to hearing about their experiences as a non-drinker.” If your partner is a drinker, there is no need to lecture them on dropping alcohol, just respect their choice because they made it as an adult fully aware of the pros and cons. Do not make it an habit of prodding them about the reason for their choice of drinking alcohol or not drinking as you could come off as overbearing and excessive and thereby killing off their interest in you or spoiling their mood while on a date.



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PLAN AHEAD FOR DATE NIGHTS


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Now that you recognize that you are different in some way to your partner, you need to put in more effort in planning dates together. If you want to go out with friends for a joint date then ensure to let them know about the drink choices of your partner. This will help everyone to respect one another's choices and not have to go over the boring topic of discussing reasons why they made their choices. A typical date night should be inclusive hence stick to the plan of respecting each other else you could ruin the night out altogether.



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DON’T FORCE YOUR LIFESTYLE ON OTHERS


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Your partner is a different person to you and their perceptions, beliefs, needs and experiences are different to yours so do not project your lifestyle on them.“According to MJ Gottlieb, founder of Loosid dating app, "Drinking is not a lifestyle, you can be at the same parties, the same concerts" but your lifestyle choices doesn’t need to affect the time you spend together. Go along with whatever drink suits you be it alcohol or non alcohol drink.



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DON’T SCHOOL THEM ON WHAT THEY ARE MISSING OUT ON


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When in a relationship with someone with contrasting drink choices, you do not want to start banter on what they are missing out on. It is an unnecessary chatter that is heading to nowhere. Your date night should not have to turn into an argument or debate about who has the healthier choice. So if you are out with friends and arguments about your partner's drink choices arise. Deflate it as soon as possible. You are not your friend or partner's parents so don’t go ranting over their choices especially while out in a public location. If you feel the need to talk about their choice in case it is very unhealthy and dangerous to health then don’t do that while on a date, discuss about that at other times when you feel they are in a calm and relaxed mood other than on a date night. You should have each other's best interests at heart and support each other's choices. Let your stay together always be pleasant and calming rather than abrasive and argumentative.